Well, what a journey...

And it has only just begun.

BB, my mother-in-love, had a massive stroke on Friday, June 10. It was just two days before I was scheduled to go to church camp with my son. It went down like this:

Friday after work, I was eagerly anticipating my son's return from San Francisco. His mom and sister had been there for 2 weeks helping/visiting my wife's sister. They were to stay for one more week and were putting my son on a plane.

I was syncing my iphone and going about getting the house in order for being a week away, so I put the phone in "airplane" mode so there wouldn't be any interruptions in the sync.

I was packing and putting some final touches on the studies that I was going to be teaching these 6th grade boys. The lessons were on The Greatest Story Ever Told: God's plans and our part in them. All was moving along at a pretty good clip.

I went over to the computer and realized I had 2 voicemails. I noted that they were from my father- and sister-in-law. I started listening to the message from the father-in-law and realized something was very wrong. He stated my mother in law had fainted and was not able to be revived and they were en route to the hospital. Just as this message was playing out, my wife texted me telling me I needed to call my sister-in-law because BB had been taken to the hospital. I listend then to my sis-in-law's message and called her. She said BB had fallen and the paramedics thought she had had a stroke.

My son was on a plane, I couldn't get my wife on her phone because it had been broken a few days earlier. She had been using her sister's phone and the battery died. I called my sis-in-law here in the Springs and asked her about some of the details. She said her husband (my wife's bro) was at the hospital with his dad and mom. After a brief discussion and prayers, I took off to meet up with them at the hospital. Before leaving, I ended up skypeing on my laptop with the San Fran sister to let her know what was going down with her mom. She then skyped on her computer with her bro to get the details.

I went to the hospital where I saw BB and pop- and bro- in love...BB called me over and whispered a couple of things. I was most surprised by her wish that she get the address of camp so they could send mail to Jack. Really? The address? I get it. She wants Jack and I to go to camp in spite of this whole deal. Ok. Crazy, but ok.

My son arrived and I told him about his grandmother, we prayed through tears and went home to rest a bit. This was all Friday night.

continued in the next blog...

The Great Suggestion?

Recently, I was sitting next to my 11 year old son and we were looking at my iPad, trying to get to some of the games I had on it. He couldn’t find them, so I took a closer look. But the more I looked at it the more I was stumped by what I saw. Nothing was working the way it should, apps were in the wrong place, and I was a bit confused.

Then I remembered something. I had loaned my iPad to a co-worker, and he had synced it up to his computer. All the games, apps, notes, etc. were synced to his computer and were different than what I had been expecting.

This is a lot like our lives. We are either synced to God's word or not. So when we are expecting one set of results from our life but receive another set of results, it might be time to evaluate what we are synced up to. What are we connected to that directs our lives?

Introductions

So I need to tell you that I’m a missions nut.

When I first began this walk with Jesus, I felt like he wanted me to go to Eastern Europe and smuggle bibles (yeah, it was before the iron curtain fell). But as time went on and life happened, the road went a different way. I became a graphic designer and went to school in Pittsburgh, got a job after college and began a career in marketing and graphic design.

Still, there was this desire to make sure people know the word of God and his love for them.

Fast-forward 20 some years to today. I'm the web manager for the Christian and Missionary Alliance.

For those of you that don’t know, The Alliance began as a movement of Christians set on doing two things, Knowing Jesus and fulfilling the Great Commission. And it’s my job to make sure that message is clear. Though not alone...it is a team effort for sure.

Right when I came on board, I was told that we needed to rework the website. (YIKES) When we redesigned the site, we were looking for a single quote that would sum up the mission of our organization. Here it is: The Alliance is a unique missionary denomination—a maverick movement into whose soul the Head of the Church breathed “Go!” from the very start.

At our heart is Jesus' Great Commission. This passage has held my heart and been my theme ever since Jesus found me and he planted a desire in my heart to tell His story. I “get a rush” when I hear stories of God moving around the world. I tend to get emotional when I hear of God reaching others like he has reached me. This is why I consider myself a missions nut.

So what is the great commission?

"God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age." (The Message)

Plain and simple right? But what had happened up to this point? Let’s back it up by about 45 days.

John 19: 16-37 Jesus is crucified
John 19: 38-42 Jesus is buried
John 20: 1-10 Jesus comes back to life.
Matthew 28: 11-14 the soldiers guarding the tomb saw the resurrection,
John 20: 11-18 Mary was the first follower to see him
Matthew 28: 8 The women coming to prepare the body saw the empty tomb
John 20: 19-21 the apostles are in a locked room and Jesus comes in through the locked door,
Luke 24: 13-35 the men on the road to Emmaus encounter Jesus
John 21: 1-14 The fishing expedition

So here we are. 40 days after he has been seen alive again, with multiple proofs, Jesus is ready to "take off."

Think about this in the context of your friends or family, or if you’ve ever left loved ones behind and you wanted to leave an important thought with them. “Don’t mess this up. It’s all on you now. I’m outta here.”

What would you have done at this point if he had not given a command?

Let's think through. Imagine you've just seen Jesus blast off 40 days following His resurrection. He has gone up into the clouds. First, after I had recovered from seeing Him lift off the ground, I would have likely stayed in Jerusalem.

I would have gotten comfortable with that upper room, maybe carpeted it and gilded the table where the last supper had taken place, possibly elevate it higher in the room than anything else so people would be sure to see it.

I bet I would have bronzed the cup used for the last supper and used it on special occasions--maybe once a month to remember the meal we shared just before that terrible day he died.

I would probably put in a few rows of benches for those that had been around the day Jesus told us all those wonderful things on the mount just before he left.

But I would have kept it members-only--just us and no others.

What's the problem with this way of thinking? After all, Jesus will get the work done, won't He? I mean, it is His job, right? I'm just along for the ride. It's not really important that anyone else know about this sweet deal, because it gets messy when there are more people...
and there might not be enough for me when it is all said and done...
and I might not know what to say to someone...
and I might look foolish...

Sounds ridiculous, right? Who would actually live this way, right? Yours truly, that's who. I remember when this was my perspective. Comfortable. Easy. Dead.

I was completely unaware of what Jesus meant when he commanded "go."

So what really happened?

He is leaving this last recommendation. Ok, it's not really a recommendation. More of a strong opinion. OK, not that either. Read it again.

The fact remains that he did give this command because more often than not we need to know what the plan is.

The basic points are to go, to train everyone you meet, to baptize in the name, and to teach these new disciples the practices that Jesus has taught. Here are some specifics from the Greek. The language is so rich.

Go out
poreuō (po-ryü'-ō)
1. to pursue the journey on which one has entered, to continue on one's journey

and train (in this way of life, )
mathēteuō (mä-thā-tyü'-ō)
1. to be a disciple of one
a. to follow his precepts and instructions
2. to make a disciple
a. to teach, instruct

everyone you meet,
pas (pä's)
1. individually
a. each, every, any, all, the whole, everyone, all things, everything
2. collectively
a. some of all types

far and near,
ethnos (ethnos)
1. a multitude (whether of men or of beasts) associated or living together
a) a company, troop, swarm
2. a multitude of individuals of the same nature or genus
a) the human family
3. a tribe, nation, people group

marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
baptizō (bäp-tē'-zō)
1. to dip repeatedly, to immerse, to submerge (of vessels sunk)
2. to cleanse by dipping or submerging, to wash, to make clean with water, to wash one's self, bathe
3. to overwhelm

Then instruct them
didaskō (dē-dä'-skō)
1. to teach
a. to hold discourse with others in order to instruct them, deliver didactic discourses
b. to be a teacher
c. to discharge the office of a teacher, conduct one's self as a teacher
2. to teach one
a. to impart instruction
b. instill doctrine into one
c. the thing taught or enjoined
d. to explain or expound a thing
e. to teach one something

in the practice of all
tēreō (tā-re'-ō)
1. to attend to carefully, take care of
a. to guard
b. metaph. to keep, one in the state in which he is
c. to observe
d. to reserve: to undergo something

I have commanded you.
entellō (en-te'l-lō)
2. to order, command to be done, enjoin

I'll be with you as you do this,
meta (me-tä')
1. with, after, behind

day after day after day,
aiōn (ī-ō'n)
1. for ever, an unbroken age, perpetuity of time, eternity
2. the worlds, universe
3. period of time, age

right up to the end of the age
synteleia (sün-te'-lā-ä)
1. completion, consummation, end

It's not so complicated, huh.

I think that often we get this picture in our head that we need to go overseas to really do this work. But remember the term ethnos: a multitude of individuals associated or living together (your street, relief centers like springs rescue mission or the soup kitchen), the human family (the city, state, country), or tribe, nation, or people group (overseas missions)

And we are not doing it alone.

Meta ion synteleia.
I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.

The missionaries I know have typically started in their local church. They worked in their local community teaching and community outreach. And then the path Jesus put them on had them going overseas.

Now this is not meant to be a formula for overseas service. I know it can be rather overwhelming to consider overseas service.

But I also don’t want this to be an “out” for us. Often times people will say “I’m a sender, not a go-er” and miss out on what God may have in store for them.

How are you being a missionary right now? How are you living it out? How are you being pushed to do it on a larger scale? Do you sense the push to get a greater impact today? Then just take that next step.

So my wife helped me see that perhaps God has brought me full circle. From the early days of my walk with him and the desire to reach people in Eastern Europe to today being part of a team that reaches thousands of people daily with the good news of Jesus love, God has in fact been leading me on a missionary journey. And he will do it for you, too.

My eyes are dry...

There is this classic song from Keith Green that is rattling around in my heart right now:

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is You, Your Spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of Your Blood

It is as though I have forgotten my sole purpose in life is to minister, not to work, build, or keep up with technology. But to minister. To Jesus and to people.

I think about the words of Jesus to the Ephesian church in Revelation 2:1-7 when he says, “You have left the love you had in the beginning,” and think about my life, filled with much-ness and many-ness and long for that first time love.

When I first fell madly in love with Jesus, there was nothing He could ask that I didn't say yes to. To quote Keith Green, I was filled with the oil and the wine of knowing the lover of my soul. But as time has gone on, I'm growing cold.

The question remains, how do we heat it back up again? Quiet? Solitude? Still trying to get that one. I can only rest in Him and let His oil and wine flow.

Staying Awake with Jesus

When I consider the tradition of Maundy Thursday and the many things we learn about the passion of Jesus, I don't usually focus on what role the disciples played.

Sure, they got their feet washed and filled with a meal, they even heard some powerful words. But the part of keeping vigil with Jesus is what was brought to my attention last night.

At our church Steve Smith, author of The Lazarus Life spoke on staying awake with Jesus. He quoted these verses from the gospel...

Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, “Stay here while I go over there and pray.” Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, “This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me.” Matthew 26:36-38

And there it is. Jesus calling for his disciples to keep awake with Him, to carry the burden with Him while He seeks the father on this issue. What a privilege, right? And what happens? Sleep comes on them.

When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, “Can‘t you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there‘s another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.” Matthew 26:40-41

But listen to the words of Jesus in this. He has no anger, but as a father with his child on a busy street He makes a statement to be alert and stay close. “Don’t wander.”

Could this be the awake He is calling us to? The awake he is calling me to? I know this, when I’m not near Him in prayer and the word, the temptations of this world call to me and I am more prone to listen to them than to His beautiful voice.

It’s time to be awake and to abide with Jesus. To hear Him as he prays, to soak in every beautiful word. For soon He will be taken.

Teach me to listen.

AW Tozer: truth seeking prophet?

If one were to define of prophet as “a person who speaks for god or a deity, or by divine inspiration” then A.W. Tozer seems to be one. His devotional thoughts from the C&MA website for today’s devotion strikes at the core of what it means to seek truth.

Let me say boldly that it is not the difficulty of discovering truth, but the unwillingness to obey it, that makes it so rare among men.

What do I take away from a statement such as this? Nothing less than a prayer that God would make me a seeker of truth at all costs. That I would not allow anything in the way of that pursuit, and that God would show me by His word what steps need to be taken in everything.

Following Him to Calvary

So I was having dinner with a dear friend of mine last night and we got to talking about the sacrifice of following Jesus. It means to carry the cross He has for us and live in love and service for those that we meet on our path.

I recalled a song by Todd Agnew called My Jesus and one lyric that really haunts me:

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a poster-child for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus? I want to be like my Jesus

And snap, there it is. Love incarnate, laying His life down for his friends, pouring out the last ounces of compassion on a soul that called for His death and was the reasoning behind it. For me.

So what does that look like in my day to day? If I'm honest with myself I see MUCH room for improvement. But what it really comes down to is loving someone often in spite of how I feel at the moment. Living like Jesus, loving sacrificially, and possibly laying down my life in many ways. Accepting them with the love of Jesus, realizing that He is working in their lives as much he is mine.

Heading to the cross

So here we are marching toward the cross. This last week before ressurection Sunday is full with meaning for me. In the most real way it isngreater to me than Christmas.

In some small way I attempt to consider the thoughts of my sweet Jesus as he prepares for the cross:

The shadows of this life are stretching out and the grave yawns wide before me. The promise of a painful death and separation from all things good looms and I drop to my knees. Abba, you are good and powerful. You know I have been with you and for you from eternity past and the great burden you ask me to carry weighs heavy on my soul.

Such grief and despair none has ever carried. And by your will shall never bear again. But now? In this place? At this dark hour I face the ultimate betrayal. A friend will turn me in and another will swear he has never known me. All those you have given me will turn away and I will be completely alone. Even you will turn your back on me and I will die.

Is there no other way? Must I be completely wrung out and drained for them all? Look at them. Like sheep caught in a thicket bleeting for help. And some not even knowing their peril.

Oh, Abba, I will go. I will go that they will be free. I will go that they will be with us forever. I will take their sin on my back and die in their place so that we will have them forever. I will lay down my life for my friends. Take my life for theirs and allow me to pay for their crimes. I willingly give my all for them.

Let me reiterate that this is just a simple imagination of the thoughts that could have been in Jesus' heart and not some weird revelation thing or anything else like that.

It's just an exercise to try to imagine His perspective. For are we not all called to give ourselves for Him that the world might know that Jesus is who he claims to be and did what has been reported for over 2000 years now?

In some small way may these words show anyone reading this that Jesus is real. He really loves you and died to prove it.

Veritas

In a day where black is white and white is gray, how do we know what is real? When one person says theirs is the right way to live and another has an equally strong yet opposing perspective, which one is right? Is there only one-way of seeing things? Who is the final decision maker?

Is truth only about mental ascent, knowledge, and experience or is there something more? Are there many ways to see things? Can our view of truth change? Is it possible to know the truth and in the knowing to experience ultimate freedom?

Is truth just about mental ascent, knowledge, and experiences or is there something more?

What is truth?

Dictionary.com defines truth this way:

1. the true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth.
2. conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.
3. a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.
4. the state or character of being true.
5. actuality or actual existence.
6. an obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.
7. honesty; integrity; truthfulness.
8. ( often initial capital letter ) ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.
9. agreement with a standard or original.
10. accuracy, as of position or adjustment.
11. fidelity or constancy.

Many things can influence our view of truth, but how do we individually and corporately deal with matters of the heart? What do we use to come to any conclusions in our lives? Through what filters do we pass our decisions and experiences?

According to answers.com, the word "truth" appears in the NIV translation of the bible 228. I have this list of 52 occurrences of the word "truth" in the gospel of John alone.

For the sake of this discussion I'd like to lead off with a passage in John.

John 18:33-38
Pilate then went back inside the palace, summoned Jesus and asked him, "Are you the king of the Jews?" "Is that your own idea," Jesus asked, "or did others talk to you about me?" "Am I a Jew?" Pilate replied. "It was your people and your chief priests who handed you over to me. What is it you have done?" Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place." "You are a king, then!" said Pilate. Jesus answered, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." "What is truth?" Pilate asked.

Here, we see Jesus on trial before Pontias Pilate. But, like Pontias, we so often find ourselves asking, "What is truth?"

Are there many ways, or one way?

If you were to ask the typical person on the street "are there unchanging, moral absolutes or do you believe moral truth is relative to your circumstances," how do you think they would answer?

Fortunately, for this discussion, Barna Research has done the work for us. In an article published February 2002 it was reported that two national surveys were conducted where adults and teenagers were asked if they believe there are moral absolutes that are unchanging or that moral truth is relative to your circumstances.

By a 3-to-1 margin (64% vs. 22%) adults said truth is always relative to the person and their situation.

The perspective was even more lopsided among teenagers, 83% of whom said moral truth depends on the circumstances, and only 6% of whom said moral truth is absolute.

So, with numbers such as this, how do we respond? When everyone is doing what they want based on how they feel, living their own version of the truth, what sort of situation do we find ourselves in?

On what then, do we base our lives and actions?

When faced with a decision or situation, how you view truth will affect how you respond to a situation. It's inevitable. So what are we to base our lives on? It's my heart's cry and I hope yours, that we base our lives on the standard of what God teaches us through his Word.

Can our view of truth change?

I believe our view of truth can and must change. If we believe that there is a standard on which we base our lives that is outside of us, we must consider and flex our own truth claims to that which is the standard.

Can we REALLY know the truth?

John 8:31-32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:35-36
"Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. I know you are Abraham's descendants. Yet you are ready to kill me, because you have no room for my word."

If we know Jesus, we know the TRUTH. But what does it mean to know him who is the truth? We enter into relationship with him, take in His word and allow it to accomplish its purpose. We make room for His word.

So, what is God's word and His purpose for it?

2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

Isaiah 55:10-11
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

1 Thessalonians 2:13
For this reason we also constantly thank God that when you received the word of God which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God, which also performs its work in you who believe.

Since we can trust that The Word accomplishes a purposeful action and is profitable for us in many ways, how is the Word incorporated in our lives?

John 14:6 NIV
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the TRUTH and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 17:17 NIV
Sanctify them by the TRUTH; your word is TRUTH.

Taking these verses together, Jesus claims among other things to be the Truth. And we can also extrapolate that he is the Word in John 17:17. John 1 already calls him The Word that was with God and is God, so these two ideas come together beautifully in the person of Jesus himself.

The Greek for truth used here is aletheia {al-ay'-thi-a} meaning, "what is true in any matter under consideration" So reading it using those words we would read:

Sanctify them by what is true in any matter under consideration; your word is what is true in any matter under consideration.

Really? God's word is true in any matter under consideration? ANY MATTER?
Taking this statement as the standard and dissecting it a bit further, "what is true in any matter under consideration" is what God uses to sanctify us.

So what is sanctification?

Again, according to dictionary.com, sanctify means to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate; to purify or free from sin; to impart religious sanction to; render legitimate or binding. Here again is the concept of "setting apart" through the word of God. There is a transforming way in God's word the changes us from where we are to what God intends us to be.

How does the application of the Word and truth impact me?

Adrian Rogers, founder of Love Worth Finding and Bible teacher, says,

"It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals, then falsehood that comforts and then kills. It is not love and it is not friendship if we fail to declare the whole counsel of God. It is better to be hated for telling the truth than to be loved for telling a lie.

"It is impossible to find anyone in the Bible who was a power for God who did not have enemies and was not hated. It's better to stand alone with the truth than to be wrong with a multitude. It is better ultimately to succeed with truth than to temporarily succeed with a lie." (Adrian Rogers)

If we use scripture as our standard and are in relationship with Jesus, God's living Word of Truth who is present with us as was defined earlier, we can rest in the knowledge of God's truth and word as our guide.

Here are a few "truths" to think about and rest in:

John 5:24 NIV
"I tell you the TRUTH, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

John 8:32 NIV
Then you will know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH will set you free."

John 8:34 NIV
Jesus replied, "I tell you the TRUTH, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.

John 8:51 NIV
I tell you the TRUTH, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death."

John 8:58 NIV
"I tell you the TRUTH," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!"

John 16:13 NIV
But when he, the Spirit of TRUTH, comes, he will guide you into all TRUTH. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

John 13:20 NIV
I tell you the TRUTH, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me."

Baptized in Tears

The forward momentum of my day was stopped when I read this quote from one of my heroes, A. W. Tozer:

I reckon myself crucified to the world and the world crucified to me. But the multitudes that were so dear to Christ shall not be less dear to me. If I cannot prevent their moral suicide, I shall at least baptize them with my human tears.

The idea of baptizing in tears those who persist in pursuing an eternal punishment betrays a heart that belongs to Jesus. How many of us can say with any sort of honesty that this describes us?

I recall a time when I asked Jesus how he felt about those marching toward this "moral suicide." It was an innocent prayer; I really just wanted to know what Jesus felt regarding those that decided to turn their back on him.

In my heart I sensed His question, "Are you sure?" and in my naive and newly awakened faith I said "yes."

I sensed His answer, "Alright," and was immediately visited with a sense of sorrow that I can honestly say I have not experienced since. I was sitting in a chair that had belonged to my grandmother, and fell forward to the floor sobbing. The greatness of this sorrow was so very heavy and the reality of that moment so thick that in a moment I screamed out loud asking Him to lift this sadness.

He did. But my brothers and sisters I tell you it changed me. My heart breaks even now for those that do not care to know this loving savior, the one who gave His all for all of us. And I tell you my perspective on telling others about this love changed too.

Yes, salvation is for those that are lost, but it is for God himself as well. His desire is that none should perish but have eternal life. And if in some small way a word I speak can be used by His Spirit to bring one person's gaze back to His and in some way relieve His sorrow, I'm about speaking it, writing it, blogging it, tweeting it, facebooking it, and living it.

Who is with me?

Weights and Measures

Do I truly have the mind of Christ? If he were to evaluate my life, what would His opinion of me be?

Today I was challenged by the account of Jesus and the rich young ruler. This man was doing the right things according to the law, and yet he was found lacking. Why? Because Jesus pointed out the weak spot in his life and he walked away.

So I'm sitting here wondering—if Jesus were to examine my life, what would he find?

1. I'm a hard worker. This is good, but what am I seeking through hard work? Approval. For some skewed reason I am trying to earn the approval of those around me by the things I do. When someone casts even one small statement my way of disapproval, I crumble and work all the harder to earn their approval. An endless, unhealthy cycle to be sure.
2. I'm looking to be the best me I can be. This is good, but my focus is on me and not others. I'm selfish. Everything I do is to get myself further along. To be sure, we are all creatures that look for ways to get the edge, but right now it's about me and Jesus. And when it all comes down I want what I want and I don't care who needs to be stepped on to get it.
3. I seek righteousness. This is good, but I will likely compare myself to another pilgrim on this journey of life and then put them down so my "righteousness" shines brighter. Leaving them broken on the side of the road I hurry along to my next stop.

And those are just a few of many to be sure. If I really let myself go in this, I would spiral out of control like Paul did in Romans 7. When he says "Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge" I feel it. I live it. And at that point I am completely condemned.

But wait. Praise be to The Almighty One there is more. When he asks the question, "I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?" The answer is found in the one doing the evaluation.

"²The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

And then the Therefore. Let me just say I love the word therefore. The first 2 sentences in chapter 8 answer all of my self-railing for all eternity. "With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death."

There. Evaluation over. Jesus started it and Jesus will finish it. My job is to allow His Spirit of life to clear the air and free me from the brutal tyranny of sin and death. Now back to the original question. Do I have the mind of Christ? If an only if I am surrendered to His Spirit of life and looking at Him with every ounce of strength He gives me.

Thanks be to God.